


Breaking the Cycle

by sign_of_one



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Polyamory Negotiations, heart 2 heart conversationz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 04:13:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6408316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sign_of_one/pseuds/sign_of_one
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They keep having the conversation about Rose playing with humans, and it always goes the same way. But Greg is different, and Pearl knows it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking the Cycle

Right now, Rose is sitting on the edge of a balcony in the Lunar Sea Spire, overlooking the cold quiet ocean. They won today. Garnet and Amethyst are off mopping up the last of the crystal shrimp, which means they have some alone time. Pearl is standing behind her, leaning on her spear. She isn’t smiling, but she wishes she was.

“Rose?”

She turns, her curls bouncing and shifting. “Pearl.”

Pearl straightens up a little, squeezes her weapon for support. Her voice is unsure. “Can I sit with you?”

Rose smiles, pats the damp stone next to her. “Always!”

Pearl tries to match that smile. She doesn’t want to be sad right now, but…

She dismisses her weapon with a winking flash of light, lowers herself on butterfly legs, but doesn’t look directly at her companion. Words don’t come out yet, and it’s okay. They communicate beyond words, most of the time. They know each other well enough.

Rose doesn’t need to look at her, she just reaches out her arm and wraps it around Pearl’s petite shoulders, and Pearl leans over and rests her head on Rose’s chest and closes her eyes and just breathes deeply. Rose’s fingers are on her cheek, tracing down the curve of her chin, the way they do when the two of them are like this. The warm soft firm strength of Rose Quartz’s body is so familiar and comforting to her that it doesn’t even register anymore as a surprise, it’s just an elemental state change, as natural as ice melting into liquid water or a wounded knight retreating into her gem. The two of them have done this so many times that Pearl almost feels she is watching herself project the memory of Rose giving her succor in this precise way. Nothing else fits so perfectly in her arms.

Maybe she won’t even have to tell her what’s been on her mind. Maybe Rose will just know without a word being spoken between them, and she’ll just kiss the gem on her forehead and squeeze her tightly and things will be back to normal, as they eternally are. Maybe Pearl won’t need to talk at all.

Rose is felt idly running her fingers through Pearl’s hair. Pearl remembers the night a few weeks ago when the young (inexperienced, naive, foolish) Mr. Universe was so close to drifting away from Rose like the other humans always did when they realized how far they truly were from understanding her, and then suggested: _“Let’s just...talk.”_

He wasn’t supposed to do that. He didn’t fuse, he embarrassed himself, he failed. And then he broke the pattern. And now he was still around, and Rose was more intrigued by him than ever. More than that. She was...reflective. Even when Mr. Universe wasn’t around. All this from a talk.

Pearl says: “I want to talk to you about Greg. Is that okay?”

Rose pauses for a second in her rhythmic petting. And then laughs, just a little bit, like a secret she’s keeping to herself. Her voice is as soft and playful as ever: “Isn’t he just so... _fascinating?_ ”

There’s a lot behind that word, Pearl can tell. Like there’s more she wants to say, but she can’t put her thoughts into language yet. The idea is too complex.

Pearl squeezes her own shoulders. “He doesn’t give up easy, does he?”

“...No. I think I’m glad of that.” Rose is holding Pearl’s head in her lap, and her eyes are looking out at the ocean. She’s smiling, but in that sad kind of way. “He doesn’t act like other humans have. He wants more than...fun. I don’t know how I feel about that yet.”

Big blue eyes open and peek up with interest, until Rose adds a caveat: “But I know I want to see more of him, so I can find out.”

Her eyes look down again, chastened. “You make it sound like this one is very important to you.”

“He is. He...could be. It’s like we’ve moved into new territory.” She can hear a smile in her voice. “Isn’t it exciting? Not knowing where something will lead?”

Exciting isn’t the word that comes to mind. “But you don’t, er,” the fearful word is having trouble escaping her mind into the real world. “That is to say...you don’t love him,” she spits it out with a nervous little laugh to soften it on the way out. Absurd whimsy of a notion.

Rose’s voice is soft and gentle when she finally responds: “I do love him. I think I could grow to love him more. I should really ask Garnet, but I’m not sure I-”

“Could you love him like you love me?”

There are hot tears beginning to form in her eyes, and she can’t keep them out of her voice. “Oh, but of course you could. Rose Quartz loves _everyone._ ”

“You make it sound like a bad thing.” Her finger trails down the back of Pearl’s neck in the way that always makes her knight shiver. She recites: “Pearl...it feels like we have the same conversation every century. I know that it sometimes...hurts you, when I love humans. But I promise you, as ever, that my love for them does not mean that I love you any less. I would never want you to feel like you and Greg are...I don’t know, competing for my love.”

“Why not?”

Pearl rises, blinks back the moisture from her eyes. She’s still resting her hand on Rose’s thigh, but her head is off her lap, and she sits in a butterfly pose. Rose’s lovely eyes widen just a bit, surprised. “What?”

“Why don’t you want me to feel that?”

Pearl is studying Rose, consciously choosing to breathe deeply and relax as Rose’s hand reaches out to brush her hair behind her ear, its owner laughing in a benevolent, indulgent way.

“Because it isn’t true, Pearl! My love isn’t diminished by being divided. I promise you, I have more than enough for both of you and the others too!”

Pearl briefly feels as if she knows why Mr. Universe was hurt when he asked Rose if she respected him and she laughed. Her arms wrap tight around her legs. “Maybe you do.”

The implication is either missed or tactfully ignored. Rose’s warm soft hand caresses the ocean-cold construct of her shoulder. “I do.”

Maybe that’s enough for this century.

She doesn’t exactly feel better. But she has an answer. It all makes so much sense when Rose says it that it hardly seems fair to tell her that she’s still hurting, like the gap between them hasn’t closed. It’s like listening to some sort of emotional symphony that she can’t actually reproduce herself. Pearl’s face finds its way into the palms of her own hands.

“Why does it still hurt me when you love humans?”

Rose brushes a pink curl out of her eyes, and seems briefly surprised that they’re still on the subject. But she squeezes her shoulder reassuringly. “My Pearl. That’s not something I can just tell you the answer to. I think you’ll have to solve it for yourself.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! There's going to be at least one more chapter of this, I've just started the pot boiling. Basically: I've read a lot of fics where Rose is presented as being poly and Pearl eventually comes around to the idea. That's all fine, but I thought it would be interesting to look at what happens when Pearl is not comfortable with that at all, and where they go from there. It's not as sad as it sounds, promise! Stay tuned!


End file.
